hella bad. My mom was asking approimately how much the camera want was and well mm haven't even really decided which one but i am looking more towards the Canon Rebel Xsi. I dont want to go over to much seeing as im not a professional and will realize well shit i wasted nine hundred. So my dear mom agreed to place 50$ every month into my bank account, so i will have to see if she actually follows through.

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For the past two weeks i have seriously just been sitting in bed getting all my reading in, im surprised i havent molded into the bed. Today was the first time (not counting harry potter premier) i really went out and walked in the boiling heat five miles along the beach. I was so busy with school that i had to catch up on all the books i couldnt focus on, but now i have finally caught up now that im done i have to go do my community hours which i keep putting off. Including a close friends birthday which im unsucessfully trying to be creative with her present but am failing to do so. I never really talk about books i read, but for now on im going to do this for those that mabey wanted to start reading one of these books. This is all my personal opinion on it so sorry if some dont agree.

Looking for Alaska : The characters to me are very different from many that i have read but to me i didnt feel really connected to them as i normally am with some. I personally didnt get why all these guys got so hung up on a pathetic screwed up girl. All together though i liked the book but would not read it again.
The Awakening : To me this is a good book for ones that like keeping it clean, no sex, no drugs, no drinking. The story is good though its kinda scary in a way at some points...but this is the second book and the first is The Summoning .
Once Dead,Twice Shy : Okay i never Never read a book about death reapers, the main character was very mature for her age, as most of kim harrisons characters are. It started off boring but thirty pages in it started to get better.
Royal Blood :This series never seems to end and its way way to corny in my opinion, it seems as if the author keeps running out of ideas for the book but doesnt want to let go of it. I keep getting the next book to see if its better but always seems to end up how it did in the beginning...but this is the sixth book the first is The Beginning .

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I really have nothing planned this summer but to do my community hours and sleep. My teacher released me from my summer class only two days early but hell its better then doing nothing, woo so im finally a junior next year is going to be worse so im not even going to act slightly excited about that sense im on restriction at school, im addicted to missing it. Right now im overdosing on pain pills because i bit to hard on nuts...damn nuts. Next spring, if i find classes that is, im going to be taking photography at grossmont or cuyamaca college. A little nervous because i know i dont know crap about working camera correctly and in a couple of months i will be taking a grossmont French 121 i hope i dont look like a complete idiot not being perfect in the language when half the class is almost fluent. Wellll i dont know if everyone has noticed but umm what the hell is with all the clover pictures lately i believe i have seen 30 from ones i just watched. There all amazing so im not to annoyed by it.

Lately i have really been into natural photography. I love how someone can capture something natural and not have to use all these systems to make the photo look up to par, i think the flaws in the picture simply look better. That's just my opinion and im sure people disagree with that, including im very jealous that someone can figure it out. I love that my attention can be focused on so many things in a picture, and i always think its amazing when i can be drawn to one. Sometimes i think people use photoshops to much that it also destroys the picture. Im also a very poor user of those types of programs and try to keep mine as natural without distorting the picture to much...or jasmine just mostly does things for me and i thought i would feature some of my favorites that i "THINK" are not photo-edited.

For the past two days sleep is no where for me. I cant handle sleep deprivation for shit i normally fall asleep like a little baby for eighteen hours. This will only make sense to some people who know me *cough*. truthfully not sleeping has made me really get to know the law about divorce and educate myself for hours during the night mabey i will become a lawyer. Just pretty much im taking care of my mom or should i say "being" the mom telling her how everything needs to be set up. Im not bitching im fine with helping her she deserves more then she was ever given. The only thing is-is i will be starting school in five days including when my birthday will be yay i will be helping mom file divorce with the lawyer. All this being mentally and emotionally stressed has made me physically exhausted and when i will be attending school again i wont have the energy to focus. I might be dramatic about this i dont normally know how to react to things not flowing the way they normally once did. The last thing on my mind is photography and now trying to support my mom for well the twenty two years wasted. oh and if no one responds to this i dont blame you im going a little crazy haha